Mothers are the World’s Best Mediators

 

 

 

Current Columbia University student in the School of International Public Affairs and Nepali native, Erisha Suwal returned to Nepal last summer through Search for Common Ground’s International Internship program.

 

SFCG has long worked toward youth empowerment in Nepal but participation from women in various youth outreach and clubs has been lacking. Erisha was tasked with researching the reason for this as well as the role of women in peacebuilding.

 

 

From her research in the Eastern Terai region, Erisha found a lack of quality education for Nepali females.  While a perusal of public schools often shows a gender balanced environment, or even one where girls outnumber boys, this first impression is misleading. In fact, boys are often sent to higher quality private schools, while the girls attend the public or government schools, which generally pale in comparison.  Girls are often kept from school by domestic or agricultural duties and even those able to attend are often still expected to balance these roles along with their schoolwork.  Some girls must also act as caretakers for younger siblings.  Such responsibilities contribute to high drop-out rates.

 

 

The Maithili culture that dominates in Eastern Terai is very conservative. A good marriage remains the main goal of most girls and their families and dowry is expected. Erisha explained the pervasive idea that girls, without constant supervision, will become “spoiled,” ruining both their family name as well their marital prospects. This is a very real fear for Nepali families and came up often in her focus groups and interviews. Its effects are apparent in the restrictions placed on women and girls.

 

There is a great lack of trust granted to women, something which has only worsened as more men from the region go abroad for work. This statistic has also been a factor in increasing incidences of violence against women.

 

Erisha found that low levels of trust of Nepali women also play a large role in the

inequalities that women experience.  Many are not allowed to have their own money and are even escorted to markets to purchase goods and produce for their family.  If youth club activities take place far from the home, or require participants to stay late, women are often prohibited from taking part.  Many women also worry about being the lone female at such a gathering. Two of Erisha’s recommendations were that at least two women should be invited to attend and that when possible youth activities be conducted publicly and very close to home. This way, worried and distrustful parents and guardians can see exactly what takes place and trust can be built between men and women.

 

 

Similarly, Erisha emphasized her support for gender sensitivity and equality training which and a discourse around women’s empowerment that does not see women solely as victims or vilify men. Women’s issues must be seen as social issues. Complete social transformation will most certainly not be attained when half of a population is barred. Alok Thakur, one of Erisha’s colleagues in Nepal had a saying, that “Mothers are the world’s best mediators.” He’s not alone in this assertion; Half the Sky makes much the same argument. By incorporating women in peacebuilding processes, local communities will double the resources they can use to tackle their own problems.

 

 

Erisha carried out her research with organized focus groups and interviews with women aged 16 to 35, elderly village leaders and young men involved with youth clubs that SFCG supports.  Two women’s rights activist groups and a women’s mediation group were also interviewed.  Search for Common Ground has worked in Nepal since 2006. Following armed conflict, Nepal experienced a democratic revolution, which ended the ten-year civil war. You can read more about our work in Nepal here.